Well, gentlemen, here we are.

The fundamental mathematics of the universe.

You probably already feel it...the tightening grip that I have on your ... focus. I am aware that it requires a certain amount of...courage...to approach. In order to alleviate some of the uncertainty you undoubtedly feel, I have created a list of My preferences. 

This guide is designed to inspire you to understand your Goddess, not to limit or confine your appreciation. 

Can I send Money? How much? 

Yes. In fact, it is a necessity for engaging my attention.

However, without knowing your life circumstances and your financials, it's difficult to answer how much you should contribute to My life and purpose. Each of My associates brings unique assets and skills to My Service. Some choose to worship from afar via financial servitude and gifts alone. It depends on their individual abilities and desired commitment to Me. 

Uncivilized approaches and non-lucrative offers will be ignored and associated addresses filtered ongoing. 

What Methods of Tribute do you accept? 

ALL. I am specifically insisting that you assist me in challenging the ridiculous notion that it should be in any way wrong to send a woman your money for any reason you like. Please use your favorite financial technology to contribute to my life if I've inspired, provoked, catalyzed, relieved, etc etc etc etc. Make it real. 

Although I have a particular fondness for cash-in-hand transactions, I can appreciate a man who understands the need to subvert irrational technical, economic, and social climates in this singular way.

modern Methods:  

A direct deposit.

A direct deposit.

What kind of gifts do you enjoy?

The direct transfer of funds is my favorite exercise. Sending cash to Me is the fastest way to excite me and attract my evaluative interest. That exhilaration is the start to all of my most complex and pleasurable relationships. The Pass Go moment. 

Gift cards:

Sartorial & Lingerie


  • The brilliant kind.

Other Hardware:

Books & Beauty & Everything else:

I practice yoga, dance, and hike to maintain my physique and precise posture. My measurements are 34D-27-39. I am 5'7". My feet are size US 9.5 / 10, EU 40.5 / 41. Style is more important than the flash of a "label." Do you follow? 

Though -- since we're being honest -- Dolce & Gabbana has never made Me angry.

To secure luxury items for me, inquire via NET-A-Porter gift card. 


BOLD: Make a sartorial investment. (My Net-a-porter wishlist)

TIMID: Send a small, practical gift. (My amazon wishlist)

Expenses & Services You may offer Me:

Some men take special pride in their providence of a certain expense. If you would like to adopt a contribution to my life on an ongoing basis, here are some suggested line-items:

  • Car service to appointments.

  • Foreign and domestic travel services.

  • Business, legal, or financial services.

  • Concierge services in international cities

  • Hotel & Airbnb expenses

  • Beauty & health rituals (yoga, massage, hair, skin, nails, etc.)

  • Wardrobe

  • Car service or lease (especially while visiting international cities)

  • Whole Foods giftcards

  • Phone & internet

  • REAL ESTATE and other forms of equity,

  • etc. etc. etc.

You may *always* send flowers for no reason whatsoever. Though that will require that you know my approximate location, which will require that you become worthy of that type of information.

Greedy Little Dreams. 

The magnetic purr of a finely-tuned engine has always simply...done it for me. You understand, I'm sure.

Where are you based? 

I spend most of my time between the rural outer-reaches of the city and Boston itself. I have strong ties to New York City and California. I typically spend some of the year traveling privately and almost all of the year living privately.

Where do you travel? Can I meet You? 

To inquire regarding My presence or to respectfully offer your assistance with any of my own travel arrangements, you may do so here. The chances that I'd find you compelling enough to socialize with are slim. Additionally, I would likely never bother submitting myself to being in the same space with you at your request for less than 10K USD. I will however strictly, briefly, and publicly collect cash from you in amounts of $5k USD or more.

I heard you are an analyst. Will you work for me / My random Startup / evil hedge fund? 

No. But you can pay me to help you think about your challenges providing they are interesting to and lucrative for me. 

Do you skype ? 

I do appear on Skype and chat when it is in my best interest to do so. Therefore, I'd suggest that you be persuasive in requesting my time and contact information by using the appropriate venues.

Time is non-renewable. Cash is fungible. You will never receive one without the other.

I'm sure you can perform the requisite calculations. 

You may call me on my verified line for conversation. 

Do you sell any of your personal items? 

I may. Inquire with tribute.

How should I approach? 


Other than that, it depends on what you seek. The forms that I have constructed on this website should guide your approach. If you are concerned regarding your etiquette, it is best to err on the side of convincing politesse and generosity.

AnD, As you know, CASH IS KING.